Fuckin’ ROASTED. +1000000 stars

I work with a dude who is really trying to work on it. He’s not doing a great job, but he’s trying. He thinks he can’t help it and he interrupts everyone so it’s not a gender thing, but my female co-worker and I point out he never interrupts the male bosses, especially the one he’s trying to cultivate a bff…

What conservative tomfuckery is this? Honestly What a gaping dick hole... I mean just fucking feast on a buffet of dicks dude.

I am SO ANGRY I will name a park full of animals for ALL OF THE THINGS THAT I HATE.

Wait wait-so this jackass wants to deny the zoo tax money because the city of St. Louis allows human women to have abortions. A subject that is completely unrelated to the zoo.

as a trained allergist, you’d think he’d spend a little less time on the senate floor and a little more time trying to figure out why women’s reproductive rights make him so sick.

This is outstanding, what’s it from?

Live in Texas.

And Soup.

I spent so much time proving to my boyfriend that Mexico (and specifically Mexico City) was a safe place to visit. I finally won him over and when we got there, he was like “I don’t know why people are so scared of this place.” There are a number of cities in the US that people go to without blinking that are…

“So, do State Department travel warnings reflect actual danger for American tourists?”

So romantic. I did something similar.

The next of kin thing is one of the main reasons I’m married instead of just shacking up. My husband was terrified his mom would ignore is very explicit instructions if the decision was left to her.

Yeah a lot of the tax banding and other benefits are based on “highest earner” rather than cumulative earnings meaning that you can have a much higher combined income and not lose benefits you would as an individual.

Huh, your taxes go down when you get married in the UK? In the US they go up for pretty much everybody I know.

I like to think of Love, Actually as the parody and Butt, Actually as the real work of art.

Dying at the little girl! She should have just blamed Obama for coming into her home and dumping the butter on her; it works for Trump.

Shut up Candace. You’re as homophobic as they come. You’re just smart enough to realize that shit won’t fly in 2017.