God have pity on my soul. +1

It's our fiduciary duty to post about stuff going on in sports, but this dumbshit got the minimum amount of words.

Yes, I am sure Deadspin could not possibly ignore the breaking news that Eagles' fans were coming to his defense on internet messageboards. Cooper's grandmother weighs in? How can we resist? Not that we give a shit, though. And then there is the incredibly important story entitled "Riley Cooper Reportedly Knew About…

And as I mentioned earlier, bullshit. I count 16 articles on Riley Cooper since the story first broke.

Fuck, I am not going to get into an argument here about whether or not anybody cared, when your own site broke the damn story and got over a million hits for it.

Okay, yes, because some dude on the internet was not able to find someone from espn.com in the space of two minutes saying that, then anyone making this point is essentially an outlier.In a way, I can't believe that I'm having this argument, because anyone who was better than pre-verbal and not in cryogenic stasis…

And yet, there are not one, but two stories on Deadspin tonight about Riley Cooper that only obliquely deal with him as a football player.

Thrown out of the NFL implies banning him from playing. Cut from his team implies cut from his team, from which point he can sign with any other team.

Thank you for putting words in my mouth. I took issue with your make-believe idea that people just "shrugged their shoulders and laughed," not with the idea that Cooper reaps what he sows.

Except this is bullshit, because the article states that "no one" has said that he should be thrown out of the NFL; meanwhile, in the comments section, the bar has been arbitrarily raised to "no one credible," credible being nebulously defined.

The reaction to Riley was basically everyone shrugging and making fun of how shitty the Eagles receivers are; that is equal and opposite. Few stories actually play out like that.

Yeah, but David Duke, in addition to his past as a leader of the Ku Klux Klan, has multiple ties to fascist movement in Europe. How you can equate him to a modern-day Thomas Paine is beyond me.

Congratulations Sean, you have successfully wrested the title of "biggest asshole on this webpage" from Riley Cooper, all while making an argument, that, on the face of it, is not unreasonable.

Holy crap, there's a guy playing defense for the Texans with the last name Mercilus? How long have you guys been hiding this from me?

Wow. That is an actual fire. I just sort of assumed you meant that someone accidentally dropped a flare or something, but nope.

Being Jets fans, they probably thought it was a cocaine cigarette.

That's probably it. Thanks for the info.

Obviously he went to a "gumbo party" where he danced to "zydeco music" with "Cajuns" and then swam through an alligator-infested "bayou." Or, as New Orleanians call it, "Tuesday."

I seriously thought they closed Ms Mae's a couple of years ago after one too many late night "incidents." And Rob Ryan hangs out there?
I'm having trouble deciding whether to think more or less of him.

I admire the sentiment, but that seems unhealthy. Also, it gives me the excuse to post an oldie but a goodie: