This year’s pro bowl halftime show will feature the marching band emulating the Catholic Church swallowing a group of young boys.

But enough about what Big Ben likes to get up to in public restrooms, how’s he gonna get ready for the game?

Well, not until he dies many years before you.

It’s actually pronounced “throatwarbler mangrove”.

Thomas Hardy too. He couldn’t stop the convergence of this twain.

It’s the militia version of “Obama, get your government offa my Medicare!”

Typical Mormons: the only thing getting blown is money.

“they don’t have any glaring weaknesses anymore.”

Since I’m doing Christmas after all, here’s a Christmas song from the boys. This is Pigpen singing from 1971 “Run Rudolph Run” I don’t know that the Dead ever had anyone that could really, really sing fronting them (purists will clearly argue this) but the band was sharp as a tack that night.

Tom Brady is the Tom Cruise of the NFL.

I am because I don’t talk about golf when at parties

Same here. But then I'd like to see a lot of cops cry (preferably in pain).

How is this relevant to the case of a person who is:

The NFL is a Republican organization, but more specifically they are a tool with which the Military Industrial Complex spreads its propaganda.

You know, maybe you’d be less exhausted about constantly having to defend your idiotic political values if you, y’know, had slightly less idiotic political values?

It that story line begins to gel, be patient. Soon, Ted Cruz will be blaming Obama, Trump will point a finger at Mexicans, and Ben Carson will have a theory about brillo pads, Ghengis Kahn, popsicles and moose cum.

Greg Howard, you are a truly terrible writer.

Some of Greg’s other favorite things:

It’s known as “The Vatican Plan.”