This is as good a plan as any we've conducted in The War on Terror™.

There had better be a number named, "Oh James!"

All my heroes disappoint me.

Some of these are rolls. False advertising, Internet!

Maybe we can get a made for TV movie a la Rescue from Gilligan's Island.

I hope you choke on your Coach reboot, NBC.

"Sorry I ruined your Black Panther party." — Ava DuVernay

"I want them back, they are my intellectual property!"

Once Trump wins his lawsuit, it'll be named after him.

Yup. We don't find out she's his sister until Halloween 2.

I was watching a clip from the original Terminator yesterday and this was one of the recommended videos. I thought, "No way is this worth watching," and I was right.

Stupid inefficient post office! *sends a piece of mail 3,000 miles in 2 days for half the cost of a can of soda*

So much grime!

They'll also mail you a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich!

We're still a year and a half away from this election and we've already had the line, "Somebody's doing the raping." It's only going to get more depressing.

The whole "Donald Trump is running for president" thing was fun enough, but I'm about ready for it to be over.

Have the Rolling Stones killed (please?).

I want a Lifetime movie about the making of those Taster's Choice "Gold Blend Couple" ads from the late '80s.

Lars Von Trier's Bambi

Did he want to make a movie he could actually show to the 600 kids he's had with Maya Rudolph?