I don’t know, is using Carmelo on defense ever a smart move?

Smart move on his part. Clearly lays the grounds for an insanity plea later on.

Including Melo in the Westbrook/George category as a black mark against Presti might be the most unforgivable thing in this entire rant. I mean does this guy even watch basketball? 

Trying to shame her for these things is ludicrous.

I mean I’m SURE some dude is like, “Nuh-uh! You know this scale is real because it’s made with weights and levers and thus is 100% accurate! Not like some digital scale that can just poop out mumbo jumbo!”
Despite there being an actual Salute Your Shorts about these scales being wrong!

Okay, I get why these things are held publicly and why the fighters need to be visible (part publicity part “you only believe what you see”) but why in the fuck do we have to use a doctor’s scale from the 1920's with the sad ass UFC shower curtain? Part of the pain of the whole process was watching Doctor Thumbs M.D.…

One other point: OKC was going basically nowhere with Westbrook and George. In the three years since Durant left, OKC has won four total playoff games total, has never finished in the Top 3 in their own conference, and hasn’t seriously sniffed the second round.

Yeah, he’s the simpleton here. Not the dude who’s big mad about an obvious fucking joke.

No, I’m worse than that. I’m a centrist who peddles in late night ironic juxtaposition. CAN YOU IMAGINE?

Really, you just need to look at his background to see where this stuff comes from:

That’s when they want them to be legit players. The West is spoken for until about 2023, anyway.

now they just need to find someone who will trade them an extra basketball

I am actually very curious how someone in Ansari’s position could really own up or say something that would really appease us. It just seems like someone in this position is relatively doomed (rightfully or wrongfully—I’m not making a judgement on that): anything he said would probably have not been enough. And that’s…

[writes “37. Lennay Kekua”]

WHAT ABOUT JUSSIE SMOLLETT?

[video fades to black]

Unless things have changed since the early 2000s, the guy with the restraints is an actual Chicago cop. Which explains his struggle to put a white person in handcuffs.

I hope she gets traded to Portland so that every Thorn has its Rose.

Yeah and how fucking pissed is he that it’s a black guy.

John: “Can’t stand Nashville. Was walking downtown with my slampiece bitch checking out the country bars and I start seeing the black people hanging out there. I mean what are they even doing there? Probably just got out of prison for the fourth time. Saw one woman with a small child and no man around, lol you know…