My girlfriend on long car trips loves to play the “Name all 32 NFL teams”-game.

This is a franchise that surrounded LeBron James with Michael Beasley, Javale McGee, and Lance Stevenson. They might not know what they’re doing. 

At least AD finally got away from that incompetent franchise that squandered his early prime! He’s gonna love playing with DeShawn Stevenson, Jamario Moon, Andris Biedrins, and some other guys I’m currently remembering.

I send my dog in first to eat up the stale chips and french fries

One thing getting lost in this is that the pitch was a fucking strike!

Except the part where Harden tries to burn down Paul’s house, that actually happened

You’re telling me those ads portraying Chris and James as the very best of friends who hang out all the time in a mid-century modern house with Oscar Nunez aren’t accurate?

Another lesson to be taken from this Finals series (“Final Clubs. Not Finals Clubs.”), and it is this:

Don’t sell yourself short, idiots are in high demand for NBA GM openings.

I stated, here and on Twitter, like dozens of times, that it didn’t matter who won Raps/Sixers because Milwaukee was going to destroy either one and was the only team in the East who had a shot of challenging Golden State, so I just want to use this space to say: I am an idiot, and this is one of several reasons why I…

Now we know what it takes for a black man not to get shot by a cop—19,000 witnesses.

Did he shout “Do you know who I am?!”

The rest of her entire life is on notice now in this digital era. She might be 100% correct in all of her assessments, but as an employer, I'm still not going to hire her. 

Ah, high schoolers: did she realize that, to all the ACTUAL adults in the room, she simply proved that she was a self-indulgent child whoseself-pitying narcissism was bigger than her (I’m sure she believed was mighty) intellect?

The joke was that signing with the Knicks would be “the worst possible result” for KD.

I don’t know about this advice- if you never leave your apartment, how can you possibly be seen walking back to your apartment with a grocery bag that has a baguette prominently sticking out the top?

All I can say is that Bob Myers’s press statement which began with him tearfully sorta explaining what happened by using words and phrases like “there were experts,” “multiple MRIs,” “multiple doctors,” and “cleared to play” by “collaborative decision” sounded an awful lot like a random corporate executive explaining…

Counterpoint:

I know who I’m blaming

Jesus, man. This is harrowing. Like everyone else in the comments, I’m glad things didn’t go differently.