How come you wrote something different?

Trump: Psssst. Mel. MEL. Who do I vote in for Congress?

For a guy who’s maybe never met a dog, he excels at whining like a little bitch.

I was at Penn at the same time as Melker. Donnie was indeed a sad sack of a human being who peed everywhere and assaulted everyone. He belonged to the most rape-y of rape-y fraternities and comfortably communicated with his asshat brothers in the misogynist language of his father and...he just sucked. He really did…

As a parent, sorry: fuck lollipops, balloons, and cookies. They destroy people and relationships with small people

You think she was feelin’ done in?

DAMNIT JANET!

Give them a sense.....OF PRIDE. sexual chocolate...SEXUAL CHOCOLATE!!!

Greeley, CO - making C-Springs seem seem like a bunch of Commie, hippy-lefties for the past century.

There wasn’t a single eye roll, smirk, or cocked eyebrow.

I appreciate and respect the sentiment, the bravery, and the integrity in taking a stand even in the face of violent opposition.

The federal government currently guarantees twelve weeks of unpaid maternity leave

Unrelated to your comment- your handle and photo are giving me life this morning. Sheer perfection.

Here’s a song to help you perfect your shimmy. I love it.

Kids learn by example, not books. Love your life in a way you want your sons to live their life one day.

Dear Red State Friends Thinking About Voting For Gary Johnson:

Oh, thank you! So the huge tear that went from my vagina to my asshole didn’t REALLY take a ton of stitches and weeks and weeks of 3x/day Sitz baths to heal! Nor was all that lochia really pouring out of my vagina for 2 months! And my uterus took zero time to shrink back down from medicine-ball size to pear size.…

The only moderator I will allow is Samantha Bee.

Appropriate responses to a child fidgeting with their shoe strap:
- ask quietly if the shoe is bothering the child and figure out a solution
- offer the child something else to occupy their hands like silly putty
- offer the child the opportunity to take a short walk to say the main office to deliver a note so the child…