I dunno, I think Scott Moe is less batshit crazy than Danielle Smith. He’s still a stinking Tory, but he’s a boring, square Tory.

It can go 300 hectares without even needing a tank of kerosene

What is that, some kind of Albany expression?

Well, I’m from Utica so...

“It’s no fun to eat what you can’t even see. Don’t drown your food.”

Dodgeball 2: Null and Voit

Just because Big Man Moneybags buys the community center everyone loves and wants to turn it into condos doesn’t mean you let him. Sometimes you need to have a catchy chant and a bikini car wash to raise enough money to kick his butt back to the big city and leave us alone.

Freaks and Geeks was amazing but I am thinking I am good without any kind of continuation of the story. Seeing the cast as middle aged people in I guess the early 2000's wouldn’t be anywhere near as interesting as high schoolers in the 80's. Plus even if you could get the cast back together, the behind the scenes crew…

He was great in every role, but the first thing that always comes to mind is the Toys R Me sketch. Intimidating and hilarious is a tough combo to pull off.

I’ve been trying to teach it how to craft a joke, but so far this is the closest it has gotten:

Look someone’s gotta fight the skeleton wars

That’s what the nominees gave the Academy voters. It’s tacky to gift the same thing back!

it’s also weird because if i had a plumber fixing something in my house and he said his father was a plumber, and his father before him was a plumber, i would be like ‘i bet this guy is a great plumber’.

My theory is all the ants who went to see it were able to sneak past the ticket since they’re so small.

Odie-ous. Sadly, this kind of thing has become the new Nermal.

Oh my god, Lin! We can barely afford to feed our kids!

A sensitive guy like Cera needs a golden agouti gerbil to keep him company.

Not telling Ryan Reynolds what to do with his documentary, but... it really ought to end with a crane shot....

“Hey, it’s me... Harry! The guy with the snake on his face!”

Nobody is having a good time. Superman is practically Christ