Stewart Zimmel.Stop emailing my wife

The AHL paid me $6,000 to not punch Ian in the throat. You too can make money by not throat-punching people if you follow this link: http://no.throat.punch

I mean I don’t think there is anything honorary about it. Richie put in the work and met all the requirements to be a full fledged psycho.

I just can’t get past the fact that he keeps calling her ‘bro.’

40 years since Thurman Munson. 

I don’t care what others say, I love a layered pun. Have a star.

I know airport dining has evolved to the point where Rick Bayless has a joint in O’Hare where you can line up with 2,000 people to get an overpriced torta, but I remain steadfast that you should keep your expectations low at the airport and eat whatever’s reliable: Chick-fil-A, Five Guys, etc.

I mean, now that the cover is blown, can you at least admit to it being your burner?

He’s clearly one of the “good ones” because they’re all still alive!

His office is nicer than I thought it would be.

When I was given a stern talking-to and a map of public restrooms. Duh...

It smells MORE like pee. I’ve lived in both. Boston is everything NY is, but just worse, and lesser-than.

IIRC Boston smells of rotten fish, especially in summer.

It hasn’t, unless the puke smell overpowers it.

Don’t they call it, “The Boston Pee Party?”

When I saw the headline I thought this was going to be an article about his contract.

This is what should happen every time a Trump supporter tries to eat Mexican food.

That requires the secret knowledge of literacy.

It also says to do this on the box that the shells came in. I’ve never noticed any difference in how frequently they break when you heat them, but I’ve always thought the texture seems a little stale if you don’t warm them up.