Aaaaand I just realized that Fowler and Davis aren't the same guy.

Josh Gordon then assaulted D'Qwell Jackson for delaying the arrival of his pizza.

The 31-year-old pizza delivery employee...

The pizza guy tried to calm him down but Jackson apparently couldn't be Qwell'D.

Listed as "doubtful". I'd hate to see what " out" looks like.

I think Belichick should be strapped to a chair with his eyelids peeled back and forced to watch Peter King bathe naked in a hot tub of takes while every columnist listed above gives him rusty trombones in turn.

When Bill Bellichick heard the news of this report earlier tonight, he promptly fired the team's equipment manager for failing to do his fucking job right by not under-inflating that 12th goddamned football.

I mean GOOD FOR HER.

Antoinette Bannister: 1.4 PPG, 0.7 RPG, 18.9% APR.

Oh. I heard they couldn't get him to stop dancing and just go through the damn security line.

I have it on good authority from a source that the reason he didn't fly to New England is because at the airport, every time the TSA agent tried to pat him down he fell down to the ground backwards.

Clearly, he's uncomfortable covering distances longer than a yard or two.

A Juggalo. I would elaborate but I don't really think that's necessary.

No shit

Maybe I'm not the right commenter for you but don't worry. You know what they say: there's PlentyOfFish...

I'm sure there's not another team in the league he would rather have his last game against.

Cool story bro. Sounds like you're having so much fun not playing Destiny that you have to tell everyone how much fun you're having. Sounds really fun!

Good news is that the UPD and Tallahassee PD are investigating, so the criminals will be brought swiftly to justice.