I don't believe for a second that the Queen changes any diapers.

What they don't realize is God made Man to hold my damn bag when I'm drinking whiskey.

I hate any claim that "women" or "girls" want X. Don't fucking tell me what I want. What you want and what I want are not the same thing. Fuck off and stop talking for me.

Shit. I like to do the driving AND I don't go to church.

So are you saying...God didn't make me?

*flames appear*

While obviously domestic violence and murder can happen to women of any age, all I could think about while reading this was "Christ she was just a baby why the hell was she married and having kids at this age anyway?"

Hang on. I was assured in song that every last inch of Gaston was covered in hair. EVERY. LAST. INCH.

I've slept with that guy. We've all slept with that guy.

I'm starting to think that this whole 2014 thing is a typo. We're actually in 201.

Yes. It's awful. That and the super disappointing dick. It just doesn't have all the force of the great typhoon, nor the strength of a raging fire, you know?

Am I missing something?

Also, an Englishman from the early 17th century would absolutely not have been circumcised. Even though he was not a puritan, religion was still a very touchy subject, and you wouldn't want to do anything that might make someone think you were Catholic, let alone Jewish.

Mel Gibson is the worrrrrrrrst.

Yes, we will do that on the same day that anyone gives a shit about what you think.

The whole time we were working on this, I couldn't get this out of my head:

In relation to your last paragraph - abortion access in Ireland doesn't have any kind of exemptions for rape. (Or even for fatal foetal abnormalities. No, I'm not joking.)

No one's slick as Gaston

What continues to confound me is the continued hold the Catholic Church has over the government. Still, now in 2014. And after all the recent revelations of sex abuse etc.

Anti-choicers continue to prove that the rights of the unborn are more important to them than the rights of actual humans.

You can't leave a child alone whilst you go off to work, that's what swung having a dog for me.

I think it goes without saying that if Michelle were the "right" skin color and belonged to the "right" political party (see what I did there? huh? huh?), he would be kissing her "fat" ass.