I wanna see Impractical Magic, where, like, a chick casts a spell that causes her crush to fall in love with her so long as she’s balancing a tin of asparagus on her head.

I know nothing about Kim Kardashian, but of course she’s a starfish.

At the end of the day, Apple’s just another techbro-run company, secure in the belief that spending money is a form of creativity.

There’s so much of Trump’s...tenure...as POTUS that is Ianuccian, but perhaps the best bit was the cherry on top of the whole shebang: Four Seasons Total Landscaping.

Yeah, a few years ago, before is woke-cancel-culture bullshit rant, he was whinging about how no one comes to his shows in college towns any more. 

Also...

Baby Reindeer

Man, the new Wicked movie’s going in some odd directions.

Ah, Jerry Seinfeld: the man who was barely relevant on the TV show that bore his name.

All of these lack that sweet Laurel Canyon sound.

Should filed in Australia. 

Someone uploaded a bunch of old episodes of The Bill on a certain video streaming website, so I’ve been watching those - mostly for the dialogue. 

Nah, Jada always chooses the back row, so she makes Will sit in the front.

That’s just how he dresses when he ducks out for milk and smokes. 

Like, qualitatively, and separately, his face and head are fine. Handsome.

This’ll have to do you for now:

The “Cleveland Rocks” one sucked.

Screw Rocketman - there’s only one Shatner cover I want Herzog to do:

Or most any song by Sublime. 

Remember, folks: her dad profited off the US housing collapse and helped cause the GFC.