pantuflas
theonlyrealpantuflas
9/14/16
10:44 PM
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The actual grove is beautiful. To my knowledge, the superdudebros only show up for like a week once a year.

8/8/16
11:11 AM
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Ballot access is no joke. I would be surprised if anyone else got on any state ballot at this point.

8/3/16
10:07 PM
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Every time I see them on sale, I feel a little confused though. You probably shouldn’t wait until they are on special. Then again, maybe retailers are just trying to move old stock.

7/12/16
10:24 PM
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“Anyway, if someone knows where I can find that marijuana farm fueled by period blood, please email me.” Read more

3/21/16
9:05 PM
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I overheard one of my co-workers calling the bookstore asking about “The Secret”: “Now, that’s written by Oprah, right?"

3/18/16
10:32 PM
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Come on into accountancy, ladies. I’m leaving my male counterparts in the dust.

2/11/16
10:47 PM
3

All monkeys contain the same amount of evil monkey mischief. The smaller the monkey, the more concentrated the evil.

1/20/16
10:32 PM
1

Christopher Buckley’s novel Supreme Courtship explores the idea of a no nonsense tv judge going to the Supreme Court. It’s great satire, like his other works (e.g. Thank You For Smoking).

1/19/16
9:45 PM
3

The book Seveneves has a character that is clearly based on him who falls in love 18 months before the earth is predicted to be charred in a fiery rain of asteroids. Recommended reading.

1/19/16
9:41 PM
1

I used to work a really stressful two weeks a year on a contract in Anchorage and would inevitability end up with the “Mattress Ranch” jingle seared into my psyche.

12/6/15
12:03 PM
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My only problem with any representative’s (consensual) affairs or kinks is that it opens them up for extortion. And that’s just irresponsible as president.

12/5/15
11:22 PM
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“If that doesn’t work, I’ve got a six pack of champagne and a funnel.”

11/13/15
11:07 PM
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During a meeting I scheduled with my boss to ask for a raise. But, he was kind enough to ignore it and I am mature enough to acknowledge it without sounding crazy. I ended up with a 40% raise, so I guess it worked out okay. (BTW: I was not underpaid for my position, just for me being a badass.)

10/27/15
7:54 AM
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“Insert other meat here” is my new band’s name.

10/19/15
5:39 PM
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Fun fact: Circus peanuts have more “may contain” ingredients (e.g. may contain peanuts) than actual ingredients listed on the package.