Turn to the left. Now to the right. Now smell your neighbor's ass. Who's a good usual suspect? Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

That must be the reason all my dick pics look so small.

"Happy Birthday Tim!"

Tebow celebrated by overthrowing himself a party.

No, I'm pretty sure it's the way he said it.

So what, Robert Kraft gave one to the KGB

McMahon made the cover of SI a few years back and the article pretty much detailed that he had reached a point in his life where he needed daily assistance for routine things. Like his girlfriend writing down his cell phone number, going into a room and forgetting why he entered in the first place him calling from a…

Every team in the 4 major sports leagues have made the playoffs at least once since the Royals last did.

The good news is that they've already played the Braves, so I don't see their homers falling off any time soon.

6. ONLY THE GOALIES CAN TOUCH THE BALL WITH THEIR HANDS

Jim McMahon, has to wear sun glass because of his vision. He is half blind and like sensitive to light or something. And the reason he didn't talk to you is because his brain is already turned to mush from years of concussions. Trust me he is doing everyone a favor for not talking.

This was great, as they all are, but I think I speak for us all when I say tomorrow's discussion of the Vikings is going to be our Margery Chriskwanzacah.

Very sad. When I heard that we'd lost a homer, I really hoped it was Hawk Harrelson.

You want thirst for the game? The entire Blue Jays pitching staff spends their off days at Blue Jays games.

And still would have been second-best as a hitter to Frank Thomas.

They put on a Reds uniform, fell asleep, and then shit the bed?

Who's next to join the Kiss My Ass club?

The NFL's decision makes more sense when you consider what Riley Cooper has been wearing...