Our hero, ladies and gentlemen of the internet...

Clearly they should cast Scarlett Johansson. She’s always talking about how she could play a tree, so Poison Ivy’s about as close as you can get.

Tom Cruise cares. He started the Black Thetans Matter program and everything!

So, you’re saying you’d be so inept at it that you’d get caught? That would be a problem in any industry.

I thought that was going somewhere else but you surprised me.

Well if that title and picture don’t demand “Take Me Seriously”, I dunno what does.

Today Paula Deen will show us her scrumdidliuptuous recipe for Rolls In The Deuce!
Also keep 911 handy!

Team Ducky. Fuck this guy.

Yeah, probably that too. isn’t that a hallmark of Southern cuisine?

‘Rolls in the Deuce’ sounds like some kind of Southern breakfast treat that involves a LOT of gravy...and rolls, I guess.

“Anybody who knows me knows that”

Does this mean we’ll be denied that greatness of Pineapple Express II: Pine Harder With Expressions?

C’mon guys, this isn’t how you construct an AV Club headline! Let me help:

Oh, yeah, they absolutely had to do something special, considering what a big deal it was. And one thing it accomplished, at least for me, was that I had absolutely zero idea that it was behind-the-scenes disagreements that led to Joel’s departure. If they hadn’t had a direct handover, or even if they’d just done a…

Johnny Mathis!  Alright, get my gun.

My, my, my, my ‘partment.

MITCHELL!

Ever wish they’d limit how long these things could be?