What a depressing planet.

The only thing less funny than current SNL is current Dave Chappelle. Truly uninspired on every level. But if that’s your thing, I guess have fun mocking marginalized communities?

Twitter is dead, it just doesn’t know it yet. I literally laughed that they’re begging people to come back. FUCK NO!

I doubt Al would agree with you.

The real question is how many April Fool’s Days will it take until the Dan Radcliffe recordings from the film shoots are released?

Republican economic strategy:

James Corden cribbing from Ricky Gervais is like one chimp throwing another chimp’s turd at the zoo.

To all the greys insisting that her *other* career is how she should be identified:

They’re doing it out of Sprite.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs used rotoscoping. I'd love for the Academy to say it wasn't actually animated. 

99% lesbian. She did seem pretty into Johnny Bravo and one of the Winchester guys.

I honestly hate these takes. “see how nice it sounds when he has a REAL Italian accent like in the video games!” when the video games accent was racist as fuck and really shouldn’t be getting a pass at this point.

We’ve heard literally:
“what is this place?” and “Mushroom Kingdom here we come.”

That’s 9 words out of a…

Matthew 6:5

And they’re all made of tasty bacon. 

It might not be Lechonk. It could be Tepig, or Pignite, or Emboar. Or maybe it’s Swinub, or Piloswine. It could even be Spoink or Grumpig.

spoken like a person who’s never had to work a food service job. 

I wouldn’t Grantham parole either.

Counterpoint: Delage D8 120 Aerosport Coupe. 

I guess with a cheap paint job it could work as a movie prop in an 1980's themed cop show. ND for literally anyone else.

If you think you’re getting Maine lobster deep fried for $5 at Long John Silver’s, you really need to know about my fine collection of bridges.