I don’t know about restaurants, but any time I’m at an event with an open bar (weddings, for example) I always like to tip around $10-20 on my first drink, ingratiating myself to the bartender. This has allowed me to skip the line on several occasions, and if I order the same drink every time they will sometimes just…

and, from Canada, unapologetic assertions that nothing compares to a Montreal bagel

Excuse me, I’m sorry, but licking them clean?!! 

when I opened Doordash on Friday, March 26,

I honestly don’t remember the last time I saw (or noticed, at least) olive oil at the grocery store that wasn’t extra-virgin.

Debra Jo Rupp was absolutely in the finale. She was in the group of townspeople in the town square when they all regain their minds and turn on Wanda, and she’s there again in the same place at the end when Wanda’s walking through after the collapse.

Look, I’m not saying that Taco Bell’s fries are bad (I actually like them), but fighting over the quality French fries that you bought from the shittiest taco chain in the country is just... I mean that’s like going to an Arby’s and complaining about the quality of the salad.

“Imagine being forced to drink the urine of not only a boy who thought was your friend, but his friends. Imagine the video of you drinking the urine being sent to multiple people in your school.”

I’m a little bummed that they introduced the Dark Hold, further severing the MCU from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

So you’re going to fix the ICE engine just to rip it out and replace it with an electric engine?

Shaq should really just stick to golf.

“Ach! Hans, run! It’s the lhurgoyf!”

Maybe she had overlapping pregnancies like Paula Hornberger.

It’s not even a good joke.

Yeah, y’know, because envelopes and small packages are impervious to wind resistance, so there’s absolutely no chance that any of the mail that’s stacked higher than the driver’s head would just fly off the back.

I love a good crab bake. Just baskets of crabs all over newspaper tablecloths.

Nothing about Rob Dahm’s Quad-Rotor RX-7? Or his Wankel-powered C5-Z06?

Wow.

The pedant in me hates that phrase. It’s grammatical nonsense equivalent to “Be Best.”