He wasn't saying an Notre Dame diploma he was saying an en dee diploma.

"That makes two of us." — Jeff Fisher

Back in my day we called that 'the battery exploded'.

Guy: [Pushes] Unngh. UNNGH. It's no use.
Sister: Just push it up a little. It has to go up.
Guy: I tried that. [Pushes up] See? Nothing.
Sister: Did you try jiggling it and pushing up?
Guy: What's that supposed to do? No, it's not going to go that way.
Sister: [Stares; turns head 45 degrees left; stares again]
Guy: [Pushes…

"So we figured, hey, let's draw attention to racial inequalities in America by walking hand-in-hand out from this inflatable thing with a purple injun on it."

Cleveland receivers made the same gesture, but only because Johnny Manziel kept throwing the ball way the fuck over their heads.

The tear gas element of the tribute, however, seems a bit too on-the-nose for me.

"My past," she told the room, "is littered with the bones of men who were foolish enough to think I was someone they could sleep on."

"SAT night?"

MCCONAUGHEY F-PACK INVENTORY MANIFEST

Chris Webber: [sits]

He really does it to fend off the slurs hurled at him by his rival, Trey Urugay.

Chad Johnson didn't make it to the CFL until his late 30's.

"There are reasons why white gun's rights activists can walk into a Chipotle restaurant with assault rifles and be seen as gauche nuisances while unarmed black men are killed for reaching for their wallets or cell phones, or carrying children's toys."

Jesus Christ, Goodell is suspending buckets now? When will this regime of arbitrary discipline come to an end?

In response, God issued the following statement: