Shit I had a chance to draft Johnson for my fantasy team, but I went with Chris f'n Kluwe instead. Related: went to a Kenny Chesney concert and now have crabs. Suggestions?

Irvin then promptly went back stage to finish off his coke plate.

Even more impressive is her crushing the hopes and dreams of 5 billion Chinese people in one tennis match.

rethinking this i agree with you. got lazy i suppose. also, my regards to the wife.

Dear Fantasy Football Nation. I'm have a similar problem. Please help. I play in a PPGP league (points per guard pull) and have Richie Incognito on my team (who I drafted because he has a super dope name). It's a 12 player flex-pass league. With the Dolphins playing the Patriots this weekend, I'm tempted either bench…

I don't have an easy way to measure this so I broke down my attempt as follows:

Give us Bermuda and maybe we'll think about sending them to Los Angeles instead.

I think that's a typo. Shouldn't it read Montenegro severs economic ties with Serbia thanks to unfavorable economic policy adopted by the folks in Belgrade after forming a separate union from Yugoslavia after the Milosevic regime?

Generations from now school children will read about this as one of the all-time great high fives.

Meanwhile, Craig MacTavish dons a figurative condom.

This explains why I spent the better part of my 20s thinking I was a Belgian Racing Pigeon.

Drake looks terrible in white.

I would think you could just circle the mid-west.

Come on, you couldn't have broken this one down with a pie chart?

With a beard like that just imagine how much his side-burns.

In related news, Greg Oden legally changes name to El Chupacabra (and ethnicity to Puerto Rican so the joke makes sense).

Assault on Precinct 13 is amazing. Also John Carpenter's Vampires got trashed, but it's really a solid movie.

Afraid not, the job title alone is far too ambitious for me to even look up and I live in Illionois.

So this Rudy Ray Moore fellow, fancied himself a pimp and a comic. One good joke his whole career. Best I can do to remember:

John Carpenter movies gets me every damn time. Those and porn.