From the Kim Jong Il After Midnight in the Beet Field Collection.

Id like to get her pregnant behind a middle school.

Athletes and their wives are notoriously classy.

Talk to me Goose...

"And being a black woman you feel you want to protect your man."

They dont have internet.

Not so fast there.

Magnificent bastard.

Mistrial due to the fact that Judge Thokozile Masipa is a Sith Lord.

A few weeks ago John McCain dropped by and Madison expressed disappointment that he was not Bill Holden because she had brought him a V8 bottle filled with Smirnoff.

Ozymandius Jalopnicomicon.

:23 "Fuck"

Comment should be dipped in Funky Juice and placed on the DEADSPIN Mantle of Honor.

Now I know where our politicians and CEO's learn to spin, massage, rearrange, distort and misrepresent the truth.

Basketball ring.

My mom went to Australia and all she brought me was a pound of Semtex.

NEWS FLASH:

People are, for the most part, really dumb.

Rogers cant sell chicken around here.

So the football announcer guy does not understand the complicated dynamics of domestic violence victimization? I guess they didnt cover that at Radio College.