He may also want to rethink the new nickname he gave himself this offseason - the NBA Finals Solution.

I go to lunch still carrying this load, which is now drying out. After eating, I am off to the bathroom to clean it up...

NBA: This is too sexy

I imagine reading this book would not be unlike the South Park tale of Scroty McBoogerballs, where the reader can only manage a few words before vomiting profusely.

Thanks, Lena, but we already have a Thought Catalog, and it's already pretty terrible.

I had this one.

It makes the sames sounds 8 year old me did when I was flying my GI Joe F-14 Skystriker and blowing up ISIS Cobra .

Hell, I thought the players invited him to lecture Charlie Strong about Charlie's random drug tests.

Time is an oblong spheroid.

Not to be outdone, Woody Harrelson smoked out of a steamroller and ate mushrooms with the Oberlin College Ultimate Frisbee Team.

"You're all out here playing under the delusion that you are each somebody...when in fact everybody's nobody."

The nice thing is that McConaughey gets older, but the Texas players stay the same age.

A football field is just a flat circle.

McConaughey was immediately cut from the team following a random drug test.

"Do you have a national championship ring?"

'Why do I play this game?'

He went on to tell the team not to sign Coach Strong's pledge and join him on a drive to Houston for Aerosmith tickets.

The mixture of equal parts Fat Bud and Bud Light offers a taste complexity that meets in the middle of fraternity house mattress and homelessness.

Given that he is drinking Budweiser and Bud Light, I think the article should put the word "beer" quotes, not just the word "drink."

I dont see any beer in that pic.