“How could I keep playing?” LaRoche told reporters. “They took away my youth.”

Jose Fernandez: so much fun.

eh, mick was probably drunk tho

If you think this show is going to have a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention.

As a freshman on the high school track team we were in charge of putting the hurdles on the track when we hosted the league championships that year. There are supposed to be 10 sets of hurdles. For whatever reason our track had 11 sets of ticks, being the know it all 15 year olds we were, we didnt both to ask anyone…

“Hold this under the backboard.”

Weirdest start of a Literotica article I’ve ever read. +1

That guy was actually his step dad. The kid hadn’t really taken a liking to his new step dad and usually only talked to him in passive aggressive remarks. Step dad thought that a trip to the ball game would change all of that. Kids love sports! But when he got there the kid wasn’t impressed and after every play would…

not registering his car.

School Commissioner - “Broom handle? So I assume some sweeping changes are in order.”

The 17-year-olds were later questioned by police and Atlanta Falcons personnel.

The coach followed that one up with, “I think you’re the greatest, but my dad says you don’t work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don’t even run down the field. And that you don’t really try... except during the playoffs.”

Apple, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?

The question really just came out wrong. What he meant to ask was:

(frustrated, crosses off question about gladiator movies)

Quinn continued by saying, “our organization is an equal opportunity employer; all of our players have an equal opportunity to horrendously fuck up come playoffs time.”

I’m no fan of Tom Brady, but I don’t have an opinion to put here after that statement.

I knew this would come in handy soon.

that’s the most millenial hipster shit i have ever heard

Wow. If voodoo economics can’t work in Louisiana...