What's next? Not being able to abort dog/human hybrid fetuses? Slippery slope.

Pictured:

There's a serious "Take Back the Couch!" MRA movement a'brewin'.

DUH.

To be fair, the only way he's ever going to get Poped is if he gets old.

Wait. She's actually a writer? I was sure she was a retired Chadwick's of Boston model.

...an example of the ruthless, wanton, careless, sluggish, rottweillery, Jeanne Moreau-in-Jules And Jim-ness, Jean-Seberg-in-Breathlessness, seductive-female-skunk-in-Pepe Le Pew-cartoons-ness of every single French woman ever.

But seriously. That was a fucking travel.

There it is.

I should mention that I am a male.

When I was in middle school, there was a brief fad amongst my classmates of wearing bicycle shorts. Just the bicycle shorts. Well, with a t-shirt and whatnot, but what I mean is, no other less form-fitting shorts on top of the bicycle shorts. It started with the girls, but somehow crossed the gender line into the…

Did somebody say TGIF?!?

That was pretty much the point.

There are no rules in the war against women.

When I was a teenager, I used to hump the space where the couch cushions met.

You don't understand. I have to do this every day.

What?

Much like alcohol, very few people take to coffee right away. It's just one of those things you got to keep plugging away on.

I would like to submit that celery, while not my preferred snack, is a bedrock of French, Italian, and Spanish cuisine, as it is one of three root components in mirepoix, soffrito and sofrito.

My advice would be to get pregnant on purpose before he leaves you.