I wish I could get you a cold drink. You probably need one now.

It helps to be 1. male, and 2. middle-aged. They tend not to try that shit with me once my belly got rounder and my head balder. I just look like somebody who has been around, I guess. The last time I bought a new car, the salesman did the finance guy spiel himself, and he ran through it quickly because he was…

Imagine you are buying something on an e-commerce site, and in order to get to your shopping cart to complete your order, you are presented with multiple intervening pages of upsell content, each of which take up to a minute to render, another minute for the “no-thanks” button (or microscopic link shown in a shade of…

But they enjoy it so. Ours would giggle and squeal with delight, as if trying to see how high the stream can go (unofficial record is 19 inches from the tip). The water is already warm. Just empty out the tub and refill it once the boy has had his fun.

Breakfast tacos are a thing in San Antonio. Mmmmmmm, breakfast tacos. /drooool

Breakfast tacos for lunch? Sure, why not?

Making note of their opinions and votes would be a good start. Find some that are patently wrong. 

Most of the changes only require an act of Congress. Considering that there are two chambers in that branch of government, repealing such an act is not as straightforward as one might think. Future Mitch McConnell would need the cooperation of the other chamber (and the President) to get it done, so it wouldn’t go…

San Antonio is about 50-50 on call letters. I guess it depends on which side of I-35 you’re on.

Wear a rubber.

I think ISIS has made just about everything fair game. If they didn’t think of it, it was only because they didn’t have enough time, which was remarkable given the amount of energy they devoted to dreaming up more creative and shocking ways to execute people in front of video cameras.

I see it as an invitation for Democrats, once they claw back control of enough state legislatures, to squeeze the Republicans out entirely in 2021. Let them howl.

It mattered in WI and MI.

And if that fails, they can just get their guns and overthrow the government. Second Amendment solutions FTW!

Failing that, you can try to position yourself for early retirement. FIRE away!

Wait, you can hack the system with a few burner accounts?

Maybe he could be convinced to move a few miles east and run in Bill Hurd's district.

And he didn’t feel the need to fully enumerate the various known kinds of nonbinary people. That’s a losing game, since not only would you look silly, you’re bound to miss somebody, who will gleefully point that out. Cory Booker, for example, felt the need to chime in simply to add “of color” to the list that Castro…

To be fair, you can buzz in second and still get a chance to rebut.

Since it looks like you’re already non-grey, your inane comments prove you haven’t been around here long. The general consensus here is that Beto (it’s an El Paso thing - look it up) tried too hard to channel Barack Obama in a part of the country where that isn’t received particularly well. You also missed the…