i would recommend you go out and try to recreate some the signature peter visual gags. after you get a bit of publicity, you can get access to do the more spectacular ones.

As soon as the right porn producer sees this, this guy is gonna get LAID.

Never underestimate people

If I wanted to watch two hairy dudes get wet, I would have opened an incognito tab.

This is the waterslide-video equivalent of blue balls with its cameras facing every direction but the direction I wanted to see. If I wanted to watch two hairy dudes get wet, I would have opened an incognito tab.

I just made the same post. It's OK, I'm pretty sure someone will see them, start a class-action lawsuit, sue the game-maker for their money back, drive all "free" app makers out of business and world will be a shiny happy place.

Shouldn't this be "Kanye has hand-picked these items!"

You guys, I literally think I have a problem.

Ugh, I have seen the exact same behavior, and it baffles me that the parents who will not discipline a child who is lighting the couch on fire are the exact same parents who are obsessed with talking about how adorable said child is.

That's BS. Somehow my four children learned with a firm NO and a smack on the hand that hitting mommy is something you don't do. And they didn't turn out to be angry little abusive assholes, either.

Why do parents allow their kids to hit them??? I was waiting in line at a store and a kid who looked to be around 3 had a pacifier (he seems a bit old for a pacifier, but maybe I'm wrong) and when his mom took a book out of his hand to put it back on the shelf, he slapped her in the face. She didn't do anything! …

Learn to read, the article says that the shop only requires your name and your phone number.

...in HER new car, not his!

You tell me:

Right, because only overweight people arm bash. Skinny people, however, are like ghosts that you can walk through.

Being sent home for not wearing your name tag is a bit draconian. Educators who want to suspend 150 students may have forgotten the point of being educators.

Are you F-ing kidding me?? Casey is one of my dad's oldest friends, and I can assure you that Jean appears to suffer from Narcissist Personality Disorder and seems pure evil. I can assure you that his kids are not fighting to see him for any money. Their dad made sure they were well taken care of financially. THEY…

For as tacky as Las Vegas is, they still haven't moved on to stoning adulterers.

It won't when your company pays for your flight on that thing.