There is a potential spoiler for one of the games early on in the bullet points. I just want to gesture to it so those who haven’t had the absolute pleasure to play through the first two entries know as little as possible when they do. Jason, please, access my morphogenetic field and change it.

This is really high on my most anticipated 2016 games list....and I had no idea it would release so soon!

Just wait a little longer for Kingdom Hearts III.

RIP

I say it’d be a “Battery of Pikachu”

Like hell you do. You hold it high and proud, right next to your goddamn Pikachu, and tell everyone else to fuck off.

I suddenly really wish this game had stage-specific interactions, like Injustice. Because I want nothing more than to grab a Magikarp from outside the ring and slap my opponent across the face with it.

I’m usually not the type to write this, but did you even read my post? First, I expressed my frustrations at someone looking to hire a female streamer and choose what she wears on camera. Then I comment on what I enjoy when I watch, and who my favorite streamer is and what she does.

Exactly! These types of “marketing strategies” basically reduce their entire viewer base to a bunch of drooling hounds that just want to stare at a woman’s chest for hours.

You’re right, no one is being forced to apply for this position. And if a woman does apply because she wants to flaunt her stuff and is proud of her body then that’s great!

Not to mention, I gaurantee that job’s exploitative as fuck. Here’s how I read it:

Nothing’s wrong with hot chicks in bikinis playing videogames.

What’s wrong is that the ad writer’s target demographic for their venture is gamers, and the ad definitely cares about bikinis but gaming experience is not as important. That’s what makes it insulting to gamers: whoever wrote this shows they consider their…

Also, that’s a really long help wanted post, to just say: “Wanted: Big boobies to bounce in front of a camera for 15 minutes every few days.”

Being a lady, streaming games and wearing a bikini top are all great things. But streaming in a bikini top because your boss wants you to attract the male gaze is... Problematic.

It’s about ethics in games journalism, man. Come on.

Depressed is probably most fitting, but doesn’t really take in how angry and annoyed I feel. I don’t watch someone play games because of what they wear or look like. Hell, one of my favorite streamers is female (*GASP*) and has made a point to never have a face cam, and I couldn’t care less about it.

Nothing.

Ladies who feel good in a bikini top and are computer-literate: You can make a hell of a lot fucking more than $30K doing it yourself, without giving this dipshit a 90% cut.

I think (for the benefit of the story, of course) that you need to do a skype interview in a bikini top and follow up.

I had a squirrel come into the garage and tap-tap-tap my on the shoe once when the nut dish was empty. They don’t so much as “make friends” as become demanding, picky little yard pets you can’t touch but feel compelled to care for.