Hands up: who skipped the video and went right to the comments?

It took me...longer than I care to admit to realize that you did not mean you were a train conductor. I sat here thinking, "Why would a train conductor have muscular arms?"

you think pet owners should have tens of thousands saved up for their animals' health problems? Really? Gobsmacking. Pets only for the rich, says this person.

Of course, that would result in most pets never being adopted in the first place, and a whole lot of younger and healthier animals getting euthanized as a result.

From my point of view - better that I adopted my cat from the county shelter and gave him several years of a happy and healthy life. If I can't afford…

"fate made him act like shit." Listen, troll, I hope you're as generous with me when I punch you right in the fucking golf ball that encases the garbage that you call your brain. It will be Fate acting through me.

"Now he's worth shaving my beard."

And no, I will not click on a link to your stupid blog.

Can I call you "alleged human being"? It hasn't been proven you're human or have human characteristics, such as reason and empathy, so, until further proof, you're only allegedly part of our species.

I know whenever I get pregnant accidentally, I head to the Alamo to think things through.

Omg yes! <3 That's what I'm currently doing. I'm on my fourth beer and I've been watching House of Cards on Netflix for a couple of hours. Love this show.

#thanksforsayingitforme

Saw this on Facebook this morning.

A real missed opportunity for a "Drunk in Louvre" headline.

tell that to drake! :o :o :o shots fired.

I am 100% down with this for reals.

I'm in, provided we all agree to loudly discuss having met on the internet.

So, Jezebel Meetup at Riposo 72?

Does anything else really need to be said?

Ok well you can send me the kitchen. I am deeply enamored of toy kitchens, even though I have a house with a real kitchen that I use mostly for making coffee and taking bites directly from the block of whatever fancy cheese my husband bought last. But the toy kitchen I had as a kid? The greatest thing that has ever…