Guess the window broke itself. Like Rihanna's face.

No wonder my period is the worst it's ever been. I blame the moon and the impending destruction of the world.

If Jonny's ass is giant, then mine's a boulder.

I'm confused. How would an IRS agent know about an abortion based on a tax return? Wouldn't they have to compare my tax return to my medical records, and isn't that not possible?

I was thinking along these lines, also. If the snake punctured the implant, then doesn't she require surgery to remove it asap?

Yes! Their fighting always makes me nervous for her safety.

+1!

Why do pregnant women deserve a seat? They aren't disabled.

When's she's 60, Lady Gaga is going to be the paid spokesperson for Dr. Scholl's supportive inserts.

Why isn't live.gizmodo.com a link and why was this posted nearly an hour after the conclusion of the grand unveiling?

Calvin Klein belt in the women's department at Macy's in NYC: $38. Same exact belt in the men's department: $22. For belts sweaters, undershirts, and socks, I now shop in the men's department. For shoes, I can sometimes save money by getting a pair that I like in a boy's size.

In his song, he raps/sing, "I sent this bitch a picture of my dick."

I hope Nicki Minaj is proud of herself. I mean that quite seriously. You know you've got game when people are /this/ threatened by you.

Hahaha. That's cute how you think being condescending is funny.

Yes! Total homage to Madge. From the hair, to the color scheme, to the vogue-esque dance.

In other words, Gaga is the new Madonna.

The ad takes up more space than the text, which is abysmally short. No summary? No snarky comments? I want my old Jezebel back!

I wish I could heart you for that, but apparently, I can't do that anymore.

Ads on the homepage in the space for the main story? Seriously? No, I don't need pepcid. I need my ole Jezebel.

Why does this image have no heading, or caption? #newsitefail