Because the Lollipop Guild is full, short stack.

“You can just throw them out of windows??”

Sometimes, there's value in just shutting the fuck up.

I know this is a different situation than mine. This lady was probably sober, I am just putting this out there so people can be more aware when getting a ride home from a stranger.

+1 Antonio Cromartie

Maybe if you didn’t wear 4-6 shirts to bed you would not sweat so much at night.

My oh my, Colangelo is determined to raise the ceiling of USA basketball. But he can’t do it if the best sistine or twenty guys in the country don’t even show up.

Milo’s so poor, he can’t afford a second “womp”. That’s how bad things are, people.

Funny, they told me the opposite if i stopped holding my Marvel Comics in public i might get a girlfriend.

A President should never lie.

He’s short, he’s Canadian, and he simply cannot be touched.

Then you did it wrong.

“If what has happened is a memory and whats going to happen is a thought, you’re taking yourself out of right now. So in that case, every hour is happy hour”- me to a completely empty bar and a visibly uncomfortable bartender at 8am on a Tuesday

That was my thought! These dudes are generally under 35 and in top physical shape. I am 43 and 25 pounds overweight, and I can still get it up without pills.

DC and Houston are actually more appropriate than their NFL counterparts.

Do not however take any “Viagra” this guy offers you:

Mushy & Unplayable accurately describes Mumford’s music

“I’m squeezing and waiting for help.”

Calm down, Paddy. Go dunk a potato in your whiskey.