Of course the whole “I’m one of you” pandering bit is a staple of politics.

I dated a girl from Calvin College and she was the only GF I ever had that gave it up on the very first date.

I see what you did there. 

Let me know where to send the investment check!

I thought it was Kennedy at first, but now I’m not sure. 

If you decide to start this business, then I want to join you and get in on the ground floor. 

Well it was approximately 73 years ago. 

Ah, he’d just tell them it was all part of an undercover operation to topple the elite power structure and they’d totally buy it and say “That’s our Trump! Always looking out for the little guy!”

Correction Jack:

If you’re trying to imply I’m siding with Anderson, you’re way off. Because I think she’s full of shit and can’t stand her especially since, now that she can’t make big bucks posing for Playboy anymore, she is desperately trying to convince the world she should be known for her intelligence and has a lot more to offer…

Dude, you seem really mad at me for some reason.

Nope. Watch.

Who’s the blonde in the green dress?

I make fun of people like Ted Cruz and Mitch McConnell’s looks too. I’m equal opportunity when it comes to making fun of pieces of shit.

Uh, excuse me....... That’s DOCTOR Kelli Ward to you pissants. And, sadly, she is a real medical doctor, as well as a dedicated Joker cosplayer:

You’ll be the highest paid janitor in America. 

It legit blew me away. 

Like that Kim Davis bitch who refused to grant gay marriage licenses because it was immoral. And has been married 4-5 times herself. 

Good lord no! Not like me at all!

You mean execution.