They said the same to Amelia Earhart... Or they would, you know.

Man. When your blowjob is somebody else’s formative memory...

Challenger Explosion. Watched it live in kindergarten. When my teacher, Mrs. Hendrickson burst into tears, I knew some shit had gone down.

Turning over but not waking up....typical Ferrari reliability.

My autisic cousin once turned in front of a NYC museum, pointed at a man in a wheelchair and yelled, “Look, a robot!”

I’m sorry, but short of a mechanic saying “the timing was retarded,” there’s no reason for those words in casual conversation, whether you’re talking about someone or not.

I guess punching a producer doesn’t seem so bad now, does it?

Believe it or not, but there are female service members.

I’ve worked with lousy engineers like those - ones who hugely overestimate their ability, have contempt for their end users, and don’t even understand the point of the project in the first place.

I get it, but I’d say all drivers under 18 are in public beta as well under the same conditions.

I spent the last few weeks thinking of a tree that we used to have in the backyard of our old house. All those hours I spent under that tree looking up as the sunlight dripped like honey through the leaves. When the thin cold wire of time wasn’t pressing pushing tight against my neck. There was time back then. There’s…

I’m willing to donate to any gofundme that will ship these idiots and their guns to the Middle East and drop them in the middle of ISIS.

“2. Scotland wont quit, they cant have a referendum without the consent of parliament. They had one 2 years ago, so that’s the end of that shite.”

The surprising thing is that there’s usually a bunch of wise words hidden beneath all the shit he says.

Maybe — JUST MAYBE — Clarkson’s not as dumb or far-right-wing as the character he plays on TV.

Nobody knows more than a 27 year old New York blogger.

I judge people who drive lifted bro-douche trucks that tailgate and spew coal. Those people deserve to be judged.

Nah, another guy in the comments section had it right. “Nut juice.”

Stop calling it that. Milk has a scientific definition. It cannot be secreted from almonds, soy, or your over-inflated ego.