How do you eat a whale? One bite at a time.

I had a boss who went through a nasty divorce after she gave birth. By the time that girl was 3, my boss was saying how she'd never ever let her child sleep at another person's house — not even her own sister's! My boss's sister was totally hurt too.

It's pretty common to get sex toys as a gag gift, isn't it? Or is it just my friends.... I mean, they are more likely to do it to the women who would find it the most "embarrassing" to open.

The proper term for a collection of butt plugs is a stuffing. A stuffing of butt plugs.

Maybe you're just hiding it from the maid?

That butt plug story reminds me of a young Helen Mirren.

Yea, that one girl with the really overprotective mom really misses out on stuff.

The rent might seem like a good deal, but don't forget it's in Loompaland. Everything seems great until a bunch of hornswogglers and snozzwanglers move in, and THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD

I watched Center Stage so many times as a teenager that anytime I hear Michael Jackson's "The Way You Make Me Feel" I start to twirl around like a lunatic.

The universal appeal of Sofia the First is amazing. My 3 yr old nephew dropped what he was doing when that show came on and sang the whole theme song like it was the best thing ever. I felt weirdly proud that although he claims everything pink is his baby sister's, he has 0% care at loving a princess show.

Fragmented memory is also a symptom of trauma - like, say, from being raped. Police interviewing techniques focus on getting a linear timeline and key facts, but this is actually a horrible technique for trauma victims, not only because they tend to have trouble coming up with linear memories but because it can put…

I don't know how Princess Sofia is! I'm so out of touch with the youths.

Why would you lock up the children of villains if they haven't even "decided" if they're going to be evil or not? Why the fuck WOULDN'T they be evil after you've just locked them up their entire childhoods for no fucking reason? You brought that shit on yourself.

Oh, Lizzy Caplan gets drunk and naked at work and it's "charming." I get drunk and naked at work and it's "oh God what is wrong with you."

Well, go Team Sausage then!

That kid's drawings are horrible. I can draw way better than that!

I'll agree that there are some misguided souls in our fair state who are trying to popularize "gourmet" pizzas, but I don't think that their efforts should condemn the entire state. Besides, CPK came from Beverly Hills, and I'm fully in favor of disavowing that as a part of California entirely.

Making things about yourself is a favorite Jezebel past time that knows no gender divide.

You know, when we talk about feminism having trouble with heteronormativity and cissexism, of it not being particularly welcoming to male victims of abuse, this is really the kind of comment that we're talking about. An appreciation for gender-neutral language shouldn't be some red flag for someone being an MRA, and…