on behalf of white women, THANK YOU to our Sisters of Color!

If you haven't lost track a long time ago you're not doing it as much as you think you are.

Hey, I'm 47 and I still enjoy it. Sad young person thinking fun ends at 30....

WASHINGTON — In response to the passage of a law in the state of Pennsylvania banning the touching of women's pregnant stomachs, the GOP has officially announced its "take back your freedom to grope people because freedom" campaign.

This. Is. Ridiculous.

So now we're going to start treating pregnant women as if they should have control over their own bodies? As if people they don't know shouldn't be able to touch or influence or harass them without asking? As if pregnancy is something personal and private — and not there to be poked and…

A couple of things:

omg. If I were Ferragamo's PR person, I would send him that belt free of charge. 'Cause we all know Barney's will issue some lame non-apology if that even.

To be sure, hot guys in their 30s don't require a lot of chasing... but it's amazing how willing they are to get down with pudgy, middle-aged ladies. (I don't mean to say you're pudgy. I'm the pudgy one they're hot for.)

Word to this. I'm not conventionally attractive by any measure of modern society, yet because I bar tend, I'm able to go on a number of dates with very beautiful women of all shapes and sizes and ages. It's all in the attitude and behavior. If you have wit, and you're smart, and you have more to say than just, "Uhh…

You are my idol!

High five! I turn 40 in 6 weeks and I'm totally boy-crazy. Its ridiculous.

Really. The first writer can best help by shutting the fuck up about it already.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Whoa. Looks are fucking subjective! No one can say who deserves someone else based on appearance. As someone who has fine-enough features but is a little on the fat side, I've dated plenty of guys whom many would consider smokin' hot. I'd hate to think I have a friend out there condescendingly…

I'm right on top of that, Rose!

I was so coming here only to say:

UGH, I fucking HATE IT when magazines threaten to put me on the cover

How are we defining safe? Because it may be safer while you're still alive, but those flaming pits of hell fire are so much more dangerous than fluffy clouds, amirite?

Time-lapse GIF of Patrick Stewart aging: