Who is St. Farm? What’s he Saint of?

Hey, that guy in the video is white! You can’t treat white people like this! I want that cops head on a stick! INJUSTICE! OUTRAGE! RAWR!!

Pure cosmic coincidence that I see this gif of The VanDaminator dancing as Ying Yang Twins “Shake” plays from my radio. It matches perfectly. Wow.

How many days until it’s revealed by the waitress to be a hoax that was created just to garner attention, like all of the other ones that end up in the news? I’m not saying people don’t suck and wouldn’t do this. They would. But every single time there’s been a story similar to this that gained a ton of attention,…

I got curious one day and counted them and at my local theater, in the entire process of me getting up from my seat and heading to my car in the parking lot, I pass 9 different trash cans. 9. NINE. There are two in the theater itself, one outside the mens bathroom, one outside the womens, three in the lobby and 2…

That announcer has nothing on the “shameless homer” market compared to “Hawk” Harrell for the White Sox. Every announcer, in all facets of sports, pales in comparison to the Hawk.

“So, like, how long will that take? Did I break the restaurant?” should have been met with a “Yes, now get the fuck out.”

I belong to one “birthday club”, and that is Buffalo Wild Wings. They usually send me an email that tells me I get a free appetizer. Good enough for me. This year, for whatever reason, they changed it and sent me an email informing me I could get a free “snack size” order of wings (which is 8 wings). Awesome. I…

I blame the public school that taught me such things but, is Seventeen not mathing properly? If you go buy a $365 gift card, you just paid $365 for that gift card. And if a tall blah blah whatever is $2.25 a day, and you deduct $1 a day (as if you could even be the asshole that would use your gift card $1 at a…

Imagine growing up when the internet was really starting to take off and become “common and accepted” (I’m talking being 13-14 in the late 90’s). Now, imagine that as puberty kicks into high gear, you start feeling weird and awkward and confused, trying to figure out all of the things you like and don’t like and…

No, we knew that for sure. And like I said, she was receptive and quite enjoyed all of the anal foreplay quite much. The touching, rubbing, finger insertion, all of it. But when it came to Dick Time, she was no go. If she had stayed relaxed and happy like she had been to everything else it would have been fine but she…

I played little league baseball my entire youth and one season our team was so bad that the “higher ups” in the league created the stipulation that if we won ONE playoff game, we’d automatically get to “play for the championship.” Sure enough, we played our asses off and won and got to play “for the championship.” We…

My dad never struck me in any way shape or form. My mom, however, beat my ass all the time. Like full on “spank the shit out of you in the middle of the grocery store” mode. Granted, I probably brought some on myself. I was obsessed with reading as a kid (hence being a librarian as an adult) and threw temper tantrums…

All this time you hear things like Steelers fans are the worst in the league or Colts fans are the whiniest or Patriots fans are the biggest assholes...Houston fans were just right there, hiding in secrecy, and have now revealed themselves to be the absolute worst. Good job, Texans. Nobody saw it coming.

What if you had a fantasy, you tried it, it did not go well, and now you have no more fantasies? I’ll elaborate.

Fuck Geoff for spelling his name Geoff. Goddamn it.

“I’ve said far too many nice things already about Watt, who is quickly growing into the most annoying player in football.” - Sweet Sugar Coated Christ on a Stick THANK YOU FOR SAYING WHAT I’VE BEEN THINKING FOR YEARS. Every single season everyone is like “don’t you just LOVE JJ Watt?!” No. I don’t. Is he a good FOOBAW…

Because his balls were cut clean off the day they got married and she now carts them around in her Bitch Purse that she carries with her everywhere.

By this point, 2015, it should be perfectly legal and fully acceptable to just haul off and knock some people the fuck out. Cause I want to do this to the antagonists of each and every one of these stories.

Six months? I haven’t had a vacation since 2009. Eat shit, Megyn.