It sorta breaks my heart to read that, but I can't really argue against it.

Well, they did laugh at the Wright brothers. Our acne was terrible.

If I ever write a memoir (that 2 people will ever read), I already know what the first line will be: I was born a Republican in Andrews, Texas.

That big buttery moon up there…

Conan was fabulous in the 2000s, post Richter. Up there for my favorite run by any host ever.

Oh, Letterman should have quit years ago. But plunk Fallon down head-to-head with Letterman in 1983 in his prime and it'd be a bloodbath.

There's a common criticism of Hatesong that contributors always choose fish in a barrel songs like Mambo #5. Glad to see there's outrage when someone actually picks something not obvious.

The funny thing about this argument is that both sides feel they're the persecuted minority.

I'm glad he went after a sacred cow like Radiohead. Kudos for that, alone. I also like that his rationale is basically personal, saying "this music made me more miserable when I should have been listening to music that made me less miserable." I know that the logical conclusion of that type of thinking is "so now I…

Nah. I hate the Eagles. I just don't 'get' Neil Young. Big difference.

When your biggest album is called Harvest, writing an album about GMOs is sorta obligatory.

Idris Elba as Edward Albee in a dress addressing a ward of dressage award-winners in Albania. Albeit, unlikely.

"Every ghetto has a north."

If you wear that velvet dress, you're just asking for U2's to force their albums on you.

It wouldn't take much to add words to that horn line.

Also penis envy.

Then you go farther down the rabbit hole and start to wonder why any of that's considered a virtue in the first place.

Yeah, I'm not sure I've ever laughed at anything Berle has done. Maybe a line or two of his in Mad Mad World, but that's about it.

Being a dumbshit millennial, I highly resist projecting gender norms onto an unsuspecting child. Even so, I'm pretty sure she's a girl.

It's tricky, though, to start presuming what the popular kids interests actually were. I remember one of the rare times one of the more popular kids in my school hung out with me and all he wanted to talk about was D&D. Dude was nerdier than me!