Yeah, it’s that simple. For chrissakes, people anesthetize themselves because they’re in some kind of deep psychic pain that is not readable on the surface. People do yoga when their life is in good shape and they’re capable of handling their shit. Unbelievable that you could be so naive and ignorant to have this…

Says he had several martinis. If in vino vertias, in vodka existential horror.

You got that backwards, there, sport. Hipsters love to talk about their watery, cheap piss beer even though we all know with every sip they’re praying their gag reflex doesn’t get the best of them. This article proves my point.

That’s called being first-born.

It kinda looks like this little three-fingered bastard is flipping us off.

Gay marriage is legal in Oregon. Therefore, they are denying them service because they’re gay. Because their service is making wedding cakes. You’re way overcomplicating something that is quite simple in the state of Oregon.

Yeah, well, that’s just like, your opinion, man.

Sorry, but parody of sexism and racism is too subjective, that’s up to each person to determine for themselves, not you.

I know you probably didn’t write the headline, but I’m not going to quit it, and you can fuck right off with that assertion. As someone who’s brain is programmed toward introversion, the awareness and legitimization of the science around this issue has helped me tremendously in the workplace and in my private life. I…

The first two make you socially aware. The last one makes you an asshole. There’s a difference. Like I said, you can fuck right off with that.

Yeah, you can fuck right off with that. You telling people they should feel terrible about something actually makes you more terrible than MacFarlane.

“...he hates when we try reading to him.” That’s because he doesn’t love you and knows you’re the worst.

Having been the victim of one of those shady towing companies, I feel her pain completely and cannot find anything wrong with what she said.

The fish have had enough. This is only the beginning.

What’s worrying is that people seem to view the CDC report as kind of putting a period on this, like it’s not a thing. But if it’s a psychological disorder, then it is very much a thing, and needs to be studied aggressively to help find solutions for these poor suffering people.

Mr. Pibb feels so jilted right about now.

Long distance relationship while in graduate school. Hadn't been home in a few months, arrived at my girlfriend's apartment, she was more amorous than usual, headed straight for the bedroom. Afterwards, I fumbled around the bed covers for my underwear, needing to get dressed. Found them, put them on, started to put on…

If Don Lemon's talent is trash TV, then go make that show somewhere outside of news and own it like Andy Cohen, or even, in a rare moment of hackery self-awareness, like Geraldo back in his talk show days. But that shit don't belong near the news.

It's like Guy Fieri came in and took a shit all over St. Louis and then the city's tourism folks thought that'd make a nice wikipedia entry.

Hey Nancy Reagan, Just Say No didn't work, remember?