Congratulations, Mr. formerlydickmove, on COTD! I would like to gift you with a customized Monte Carlo which this lovely will deliver as soon as guys stop looking at her.

Is arming the officials the right answer, though? Things could get really Messi.

Congratulations, Mr. Ryan Frew, on COTD! My award to you is a classic Corvette which this lovely lady will deliver soon. Be careful, as she has a revolver.

Actually, *some* white people went into defense mode. Given that 249 million Americans identify as white I think the general consensus to the video was no one gave a flying fuck. Don’t believe twitter or the media as representing any one single race of people.

Congratulations, Mr. PatBateman, on COTD! I would like to gift you with a red BMW which this lovely lady will deliver as soon as she rinses off.

I almost posted Barbara Roufs. She passed away in 1980.

Congratulations, Mr. Thunderhawk, on today’s COTD! My award to you is a dragster which this lovely lady will deliver somehow.

Congratulations, Mr. Stålhandske, on COTD! I would like gift you with an Audi which this lovely lady will deliver as soon as she finds her water bottle.

Talk about relaxing...

Congratulations, Mr. Ben, on today’s COTD! My award to you is a Mercedes which this lovely lady will deliver after she wipes her hand and butt prints off the hood.

Ever since I left the Cita...DEL!

“Today, Bungie released another update for Destiny, a video game in which players travel through space imagining new content”

Congratulations, Mr. Mike, on COTD today! I would like to gift you with a Porsche which this lovely lady will deliver as soon as she cheers up.