did not realize how much jim varney looked like gollum until right now

God, poor Chelsea. That shit was awful.

I like how your two comments on this article are attacking women for their looks. That’s awesome of you.

I had an internship at a zoo in undergrad, and there was a note left about me one time. I explained that horseshoe crabs were an ancient species and you could see their relatives, the trilobites, in fossils from the Cambrian period. The dad got all huffy and asked how I knew it was “millions of years”, and I responded…

It’s almost as if Donald Trump feels the need to incessantly attack anyone who threatens to pop the bubble that is his inflated sense of self worth because he’s afraid it will expose his crippling insecurity and the fragility of his ego and the fact that even he knows he’s not as great as he says he is.

I think it’s time for me to make another donation to Planned Parenthood, but I can’t decide if I should do it in honor of Anna Duggar’s Brother, Closeted Bradley Cooper, or Mel Gibson’s Cunt Mouth.

Do these people think that’s a teaching moment? Like “oh, I’ll show you, server person, with this super unnecessary comment on the check”? Because all it teaches me, folks, is that the world would be better off if you were eaten by dragons.

He’s come so far.

........

Food, and shelter are pretty high up on the list of things “in this world that you need so badly to have to put up with this treatment from people”

White people who are really fucking high and have a disposible amount of money but lack the sense that the gods gave oysters.

Wouldn’t free ketchup actually be commie? Charging for it is very American and capitalist.

“My husband and I are vegan. My daughter is vegetarian and both of them are allergic to gluten, lactose, shellfish, soya, onions, peppers and GM foods.” I’m assuming the kids survive on eating air, then. Assuming it’s not red air, cause they’d probably be allergic to that too.

This is still more evidence of the seeming threat to whiteness of black joy. A lot of articles came out about this idea after the McKinney pool party cop clusterfuck.

So One Direction are going in separate directions? Good thing there’s only four of them now.

It was obviously only their love for Zayn that tied them together.

Have AdultoSaur been reached for comments???? or she is mopping tears

Douchecraft carrier? Not only is he a douche, he always brings dozens of douchey friends along as well.

Fuck off back to Redd...oh, right.

Go to the library and hit the magazine area or teen area. Pull out seventeen for this month. Read, if you must, and then put it back.