[pulls butter out of fridge to soften]

Agreed. Every line Dennis Farina says to his attorney absolutely kills me. And then that scene where Jack's daughter runs out of the house to give him all her money comes along and takes your legs out.

But are you doing the litmus configuration?

Yup. My first reaction was utter denial:

"Did you piss in your pants James?"

Agreed. Real buggy-whip snap.

"If I'm not playing a great, great match, these girls, when they play me, they play as if they're on the ATP Tour, and then they play other girls completely different," Williams said, rolling her eyes. "It's never easy being in my shoes."

"A Futile and Stupid Gesture: How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever" by Josh Karp.

Hell, Holyfield's first instinct was to freak out rather than punch, and he was boxing!

It was a dirty play. He headhunted a player he knew suffered a concussion the previous game. The card was good, but the elbow Uruguay threw at his temple was even better. And #23 with his fucking arms up is what everyone hates about Italian soccer. They are ALWAYS the most despicable, dishonest team on the field.

This is like something Doug Kenney might've written in National Lampoon. Just beautiful. +1

Sleep tight, Bradley...

Questionable. +1

It's garbage. It's all garbage.

In 1997, Gwynn and Larry Walker were both chasing .400, and they sat down with (I believe) ESPN for a co-interview that was the funniest sports interview I've ever seen. They would answer each question in turn, Gwynn and then Walker. Gwynn was answering each question with theory and science and with utter…

Ha! +1

Give him hell, Aurier! +1

Sorry, I just got home from work. I'm also sorry I got pissy and defensive last night. You didn't deserve that. My wife and son are visiting her parents till tomorrow, and I've never been apart from them since he was born (he's nearly 3). Also, my Rangers were in the process of losing the Stanley Cup Finals last…

Yeah. I was thinking either a draw, or Italy scoring a first half goal and then employing what Monty Python called "the limpid tentacles of packed Mediterranean defense". Either way, there's gonna be more Italian divers out there today than opening day of the Staten Island town pools!