All kinds of crazy in those eyes.

Jesus that NRA lady is scary looking.

Tom, should you focus on his penis when his balls are the real story? I understand the confusion since there’s not a vas deferens between the two.

clownrows, bro

“Single Female Layer, fighting for her client. Wearing sexy miniskirts and being self reliant!”

Congratulations to Newton’s brother for starting the season a perfect 1-1.

Well, I’d be impressed if the show featured pop culture references from the future.

Must’ve been thinking about The Orifice instead. Easy mistake.

Wow. The show must’ve gotten a lot more graphic after I stopped watching.

He doesn’t really understand how it works if he wants the rope to be long.

“A western term...”

[FARTS TO DISPROVE EVOLUTION]

Paint a white stripe down the back of the feral cat. The skunk will mistake it for a lady skunk and fall madly in love with it. It will hop daintily toward and cat and begin kissing its arm. While the skunk is distracted, club it with a shovel.  

Paul Blart, Mall Cop: Shit is to Shart as Blood is to Blart

In the movie version Sater will say, “Looks like this guy wants assaulted margarita!”

what did we make her do

David Attenborough on a show wherein he narrated a detailed account of celebrity beefs would be my favorite thing.

Just full on David Attenborough that bullshit.

Albert Pujols was once as beloved as almost any player ever by his hometown fans, well on his way to being the defining player of his generation. Now he’s almost forgotten, washed up, and being forced to watch himself get surpassed by an even better player on a nightly basis, on a (still) shitty team.

I think I’d be able to deal with Trump as president if he wasn’t literally everything the GOP accused Obama of being.