To be fair, nobody could lie as much as her job requires and keep a straight face.

That happens to me every year, right around Halloween. Sometimes I swear I have a witch’s hex on me, but then I remember I’m a just UGA fan.

I was recently shocked to learn that the high five was only invented in 1977. Sometimes history is way shorter than we think.

Honestly the fact that designers charge $500 for plastic sunglasses is the most egregious crime here.

I can’t believe this article doesn’t mention Jeb! even once. He was so thoroughly humiliated that we can’t even remember him. Please clap.

Whoa, Mussolini had tiny hands too!

No? Welp, off to whip up a script for DongerPunch.

#hashbros

‘Atlanta United Scattered the defenders, Smothered the attackers, and relentlessly Chunked it into the goal!’

Yeah, but we’ll still blow it in the Super Series Cup or whatever.

Hmm, I played against machines designed for pitching in lower Little Leagues, and I did a lot better against them than I did the real human guys later on.

If only we’d had this kind of mentality on the 90s we could’ve had a Denzel Batman/Samuel L. Joker movie. Which would’ve ruled.

Or that Juggalos would be more eloquent and have better makeup than the POTUS...

As long as we’re crossing over sites,

Found it:

I seem to recall a Jalopnik article about what a non-ridiculous Batmobile would look like and the author basically ended up on the Battle Van, which the comment section obviously pointed out.

Tanya Harrison, Martian scientist 

I couldn’t even bring myself to lie to my kid about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or Jesus.

The entire Huckabee family looks a lot like the original Mr. Potatohead set, only with the pieces inserted into religiously judgemental sexually repressed hypocrite hams instead of potatoes.

Ok, but what about infidelitous sharks with nictating membranes, hmmm?