I was gonna go with ‘outrunning The Beast in your new P.F. Flyers’ but yours is good too.

Well, folks from Georgia proudly say Hotlanta, so I wouldn’t trust their judgement on city nickname usage.

Forget the Toms and the Harrys, I remember when this website was still all about Dicks.

I have no problem with polyamory but a cross DC/Marvel relationship is a crime against nature.

I used to be a line cook, and every time some grease dripped down and caused a flare up, I sang ‘This Grill is on Fire’ at the top of my lungs.

Worst Procul Harum song ever.

What if God was one of us?

I cried watching Benji the Hunted on a bus ride in Peru a few years ago even though it was in Spanish so I didn’t know what anybody was saying. I was pretty drunk though.

Also a fraudulently gay married firefighter! Such range!

Earlier today I googled ‘cowboy lemur riding a fossa’ and got nothing, and yet this video exists. Very upsetting.

That’s legitimately cool, but is he living in the back of a u-haul?!

Yeah, no kidding. Some stories don’t have any heroes.

Damn it, the joke was right there!

I swear this is true: Morrissey once sat at a bar in Fort Collins, Colorado, trying to be anonymous. But a kid there recognized him, of course, and put ‘Girlfriend in a Coma’ on the jukebox. And then when it ended, he played it again. As the song wound down for the second time, Morrissey said, ‘if you play that song…

Well if he stays true to form, next time his toenails get too long he’ll cut himself in half at the waist.

Syphilis?

Uh Joey Chestnut is an expert at hotdog consumption not hotdog metaphysics. I contend that a hotdog is *clearly* a sandwich. And I once held the esteemed title of Sandwich Artist, so I think I know a little more about the subject than you or Mr. Chestnut.

burning a Gordon Hayward shirsey while Linkin Park plays in the background

Kinda proves the point though: Joe West is a crew chief and has umpired in six World Series, two since Torre took over.

Nah, I’m still salty about Molineaux/Cribb and that happened 172 years before I was born.