I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: police union spokesmen are the worst people in America.

The one competition where Browns do a heck of a job.

Sure, why not. I can’t think of anyone else using that name.

Jesus, you Massholes deserve every square inch of shit you’re given.

Someone said he looks like the person most likely to volunteer to be buried alive in Trump’s tomb after a state funeral.

I imagine pulling a behind-the-back when your wallet is on a chain ends up with you all tangled up and falling into a pile of Avenged Sevenfold shirts, huh?

I feel like you’ve missed the actual high point of Dolphins football in the last 20 years: that one game in 2008 where Ronnie Brown and the team whipped out their big wildcat dongs for the first time and completely shitcanned the Brady-less Patriots: http://www.espn.com/nfl/boxscore/_/gameId/280921017

You are the living embodiment of the “white moderate” stumbling block in MLK’s famous Birmingham Prison letter.

I can’t wait to see what the smirking dipshit does with $30 million in cap space: Pay JPP a contract at $10 million per finger? Sign Revis Island? I’m sure there’s some guy who was a superstar in 2012 that I’m forgetting.

North Carolina, first in flight, 49th in reading comprehension skills, apparently.

Yes, it would be like the Blazers moving to Seattle. A beloved team from a smaller city moving to the closest major city, which is a short drive to the north. The new home city for the team is larger, objectively shittier, and filled with fart-sniffing pricks and “thought leaders.” The country at large has always…

I love it when a scrappy, heady, overachiever shows the grit to take it to a flashy, athletic, instinctive gloryboy.

these guys had no idea why I was laughing at them

My browser won’t let me post it, but where is a gif of Bears-Fan-Footrace-Ends-With-Light-Pole?

There was a time when #32 would have been much higher, but now so many guys throw 100 mph that we kind of take for granted how absurd it is that any human being can do that.

Hey Mr Hot Shot lawwer, take some extra cases or sell a kidney or some shit so you can afford shampoo for your mangy ass kid.

Boston is the David Duke of the NBA.

When I was younger I worked at a t-shirt/screen printing place and I printed a bunch of bumper stickers that just said “HITLER WAS RIGHT” which I would put on the back of cars that offended me by parking like an asshole.

Lax Bro TOO Lax, Bro

Let’s go to Luckenbach, Texas
With Waylon and Willie and the boys
This successful life we’re livin’
Got us feuding like the Hatfields and McCoys…