More like former coach.

Now that he is in Canada, they are all blaming Tulo’s surgically repaired Tragically Hip.

Wheelchair basketball hooligans. Sounds like a ska band.

Goodell: [shakes Tunsil’s hand] Pretty exciting night for you so far, huh?

Ah yes, the St. Louis Blues bandwagon, where fair-weather fans hitch their hopes and dreams every April, and then un-hitch those hopes and dreams later in April.

I miss Dick Jauron.

The Bills have their home opener on Thursday Night Football. I can’t wait for the tailgate and the plethora of videos to come.

I heard that Cleveland will likely draft the Tupac hologram and start him at QB.

I am replying to you solely because of your username.

Fuck you, putting Grimlock at third. Grimlock am king. Grimlock am superior spokesperson to purple wad.

“Let slip the turds of war,” he yelled out with blood curdling fervor and then shat himself verily.

[Joe Flacco getting robbed at gunpoint]

In baseball you never shout at the player holding the pine because if he becomes offended, he’s allowed to release his spores, which means you’ll have to engage your sweepers to protect your team’s tubes.

Absolutely. I’d just kill some old ass person. Or a bum. One of those white millennial kids with dreadlocks begging for money on the street. Preferably one playing a bongo.

Shipping a boat? Isn’t that just called an upgrade?

I always thought the Browns Uncertainty Principle was you can know their coach and know their quarterback but never both at the same time

He said “what next, niggers?”

Religious people are suddenly the most devout people on the face of the planet when it comes to beliefs that allow them to discriminate against people. When it comes to shit that actually inconveniences them like observing Sabbath or not gambling or cheating, suddenly they are so much more flexible.