Hi there, Alternate Universe Fat Sean Payton.

The videos are pretty much exactly the same. People are just falling off ladders or getting kicked in the dick in portrait orientation now.

Or perhaps the Nets.

Hockey season too, if you live close enough to our northern neighbors to pick up the glory that is Hockey Night In Canada.

Hockey season too, if you live close enough to our northern neighbors to pick up the glory that is Hockey Night In…

As a long-suffering Bills fan, I would like to take this opportunity to point out that Gilmore is hot garbage and I have no idea what Belichick saw to sign him to a huge contract.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the #BillsMafia types who call into radio polls are the dumbest motherfuckers ever wrapped in a pair of jorts.

I don’t know what’s worse — the large, unfounded chip on the shoulder of flyover country, or the fact that the region of our country that produces so little has such outsized electoral influence.

His disappear ants is unconscienceable!

I swear to god, I hear the same assholes calling for Peterman now that were calling for Tuel Time a couple years ago.

The Bills could win the MAC East! Maybe.

So it goes.

“Come on, who names a black guy Logan Ryan?”

(I played CB at his “Kraft Stadium” in Jerusalem).

That’s like a happy ending, right?

“What does Roger Goodell actually do?”

Takes a public beating so the owners don’t have to. He’s a professional scapegoat.

A “generational” talent at pass rusher who might be out for his first season? Clowney’s going to sue for patent infringement.

I’m familiar with this phenomenon — my cat also gets angry if you stare at him while he’s digging around in the box and getting ready to do something shitty.

Small, though.

HERP DERP CAN WE CALL ‘EM THE TEXANS?

The actual football feels like an auxiliary part of the NFL experience now.