All Wade Phillips did was come in and build a championship defense.

The Nets actually have players under contract that are even worse than the ones on their NBA roster?

“now it’s down to Pensacola and Shreveport”

This is the saddest sentence fragment you’ll see all day.

Because as terrible as he is, the others are plumbing new depths of terribleness. Picking the worst NFL owners is like picking the most bigoted Nazi.

What is the hardest semi-regular word to type correctly?

I would buy many copies of this game.

The New Confederacy doesn’t have a capital city, because none of the dumbfuck yokels who’d be interested in secession live in cities. It would have to have a capital county, or a capital fairgrounds or something.

Teddy Roosevelt and Andrew Jackson would be the last two standing after an All Presidents Cage Match.

It’s literally the only thing I feel like I’m missing out on since I cancelled our cable subscription a couple years ago.

Hope it works better than Arizona tea.

ILLEGAL WEDGE

Ralph Wilson deserved it.

I understand that this is supposed to be sarcastic, but I genuinely don’t understand why people are so excited about this. It’s essentially “a really cloudy day”, with the bonus aggravation of trying to keep my kids from staring at the sky and going blind. Who cares?

Isn’t a Philly Brown some kind of terrible sandwich?

The world doesn’t need any baseball Kaps.

Did someone finally point out to these jamokes that a Google intern could probably code a replacement for them using webcam input in an afternoon?

We can only hope that some hero at the DMV “accidentally” swaps an N in for that W and gives little Preston a stroke.

The Pegulas are nice enough, although they seem to have no idea how to run their sports franchises.

Look at the election returns from New York. There’s a reason why he got absolutely curbstomped in the state that knows him best — because we know he’s a sleazy grifter without the intelligence or disposition to run a successful Arby’s without fucking it up.

The Flyers are both!