I’m an alcoholic degenerate asshole.

I actually thought two different Yankees went with “Kraken” — would have been confusing.

Leave Buffalo out of this. We’re WAY too fat and drunk for boxing gyms.

Dan Prescott?

Announcers calling him the team’s “hard count specialist” was infinitely sad, even for Buffalo.

They also get pared down. I make it in nearly every year, but it’s almost always a “short punch” that’s excised from a longer submission.

I think that those white 50th anniversary AFL jerseys were the best looking ones they ever had. Tragically, mine has Trent Edwards’ name on it. He was benched the day after I wore it for the first time and never started again.

Remember the red ones that looked like Pats throwbacks?

The last time the Bills hosted a playoff game, Jim Kelly started.

Well, of course Jared will go to the same prison as his dad. He’s a legacy!

He’s the heir to the Hot Fries empire, right?

Say what you will about his political acumen, but he was great as Len in Transparent.

There was no medieval America
There was, it was just before those British dickholes showed up and started acting like they owned the place.

No one gives a good got damn about that team, even the yokels in Atlanta who are too busy watching college football.

My previous employer had an office in Georgia. The people there told me that nobody gives a shit about the NFL except for transplanted Northerners who live in Atlanta. The rest of the state roots for…

A friend-of-a-friend was a sportswriter for the Cincinnati Enquirer. He told me once that he walked into Mike Brown’s office to ask why he was being so stubborn during a contract negotiation with some veteran player, and Brown was eating a bowl of Top Ramen at his desk. The man is so cheap he eats a ten cent package…

I don’t know about you, but I’ve got Sun Devil Hockey fever!

I used to buy American Beer at the shitty bodega near my college. Tasted exactly like corn on the cob (no butter).

Hence the endless stream of news stories about Trump supporters shocked that their undocumented friends and relatives are getting deported. “But he was only supposed to do horrible shit to the people I don’t care about!”

I couldn’t care less about most of the right-wing “experts” that Daily Caller and Fox News trot out, but D’Souza drives me fucking batty. He’s like a golem made out of YouTube comments and bad logic.

An involuntary vowel movement is common after an injury like that.