They’re stuck in traffic, they’ll get back to you in nine hours.

Buy his shoes and find out.

They’re going to have to add his name to it, like he just made partner in a law firm for morons.

They’re not happy with their lives and instead of taking accountability for their own position in life, or at least sucking it up and making the best of it like the rest of us, they’re angry and bitter and want to blame somebody for it.

I like to think they’re still on a beach somewhere, charging mai-tais to the Trump Organization and filing reports that say “tremendous” and “amazing” in all the right places.

“Yeah, but he has his name in big gold letters on a bunch of buildings so he must be brilliant, LIBTARD! Your just jelous!”

--some guy with a Facebook profile picture of a fish he caught

That “Miss Me Yet” meme is adding layers over time.

It’s fucking amazing that there are still people with enough faith in this guy that they can’t see he’s just a wannabe autocrat with no attention span or impulse control; they’d rather believe he’s playing some kind of crazy six-dimensional chess that we’re all too dim to understand.

For those keeping track at home,…

Nutraloaf is so disgusting it has actually been banned in three states. The recipe in the Florida system, where Barrett was housed: Combine carrots, spinach, dried beans, vegetable oil, tomato paste, water, dry grits, and dry oatmeal. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes at 325 degrees.

Hilariously enough, the relatively well-off highly educated snowflake libtard commies like myself benefit way more from most of the traditional Republican plans than the dumbfuck Trump boosters who have no money. I can’t figure out why those assholes keep voting to cut their own throats.

Texas is a dump and we should let it leave the Union.

We really should, if only for the sublime joy of watching them get curbstomped by Mexico, just like the last time they played at being a country.

A local suburb wants to replace the basketball courts in the town park with an ice rink for hockey. Guess why.

The best long-term fix for unfunded government pension obligations might be returning cigarette machines to all the break rooms.

He’s literally fucking up, all right.

What possible difference could it make? Everyone who works anywhere near this administration seems to have half a dozen press contacts on speed dial. Trump’s hookers don’t leak this much or this often.

“That shark clearly has a drinking problem.”

Jesus, how many Browns coaches has this guy missed out on entirely?

I disagree. Marriage is an excellent economic partnership — at the very least, it earns discounts on everything from taxes to health insurance and halves the price of housing.

As bad as 95% of the shit that comes out of the Trump Circus has been, that attempt to portray HBCUs as a triumph of “school choice” has to be one of the most context-free and baldly unsupportable statements.

That means we’re only a couple years away from “selling ‘throwback’ racist cartoon merchandise” being very lucrative.