I look forward to their desperate pillaging of their farm system ruining the season for my Bisons.

But then dickhole sports reporters wouldn’t have any easy transcription for tomorrow’s column. Why do you hate the job creators?

Hey, I’m in the greys for being “sexist” and pointing out that nobody knows when the WNBA draft is. Welcome!

What we need is another Titanic.

It’s been tried. Remember when Hillary suggested that the government should help retrain coal miners for a career that’s not deader than dogshit and was rewarded with HILLARY HATES COAL headlines for the rest of the campaign?

OH THE HUMANITY

I’d be willing to suspend the 2020 election if we could bring back Mitt to replace this trash fire of an administration.

You know you’re in some fucked up, terrible company when Kid Rock looks like the classy one.

You know that loudmouth at the end of the bar who could totally do a better job of running his favorite team?

She’s almost ready to lay across the hood of a Fiero for a Whitesnake cover band’s album. You betcha.

“You better pay up if you want to see a play-in game featuring San Jose State in a few years!”

These guys are the worst Bond villains ever.

That’s the motto of a party that has decided to lose forever.

Beverly Hillbillies finally gets its dark reboot.

I can’t understand how a world class grifter like Palin still dresses from the Marshall’s clearance rack.

The Bills would like a word or two. And those words are “wide” and “right”.

“So I could probably get him for a seventh rounder?” --Doug Whaley

Ottawa doesn’t really exist. It’s like Oz.

A friend of mine has a beige Camry with a beige interior. He says he’s just going to paint a barcode on the door with CAR underneath. It’s the most generic, forgettable, Sim City sedan you could possible imagine.

Their halfbacks rush in single file to hide their numbers.

And most prone to arson.