I love when I read half an article and have to scroll excitedly back up to confirm that Sean O'Neal wrote it.

I know! There's so many glaring flaws to beat up Donald Trump over. Let's mix it up a bit, people!

Yea, Ken Marino was the guy that screwed Ray Finkle out of a Super Bowl.

Who doesn't have instant coffee? You buy a jar of Folger's Crystals, you put it in the cupboard, you forget about it. Then, later on, when you need it, it's there. It lasts forever. It's freeze-dried. Freeze-dried crystals.

I just started watching this over Amazon the other day, after learning that Mary Elizabeth Winstead starred in it and got hooked. I am a little disappointed that TV Club couldn't even finish covering the first season of the show.

Pizza? Never heard of it!

It's such an unnatural shade of orange. It's like Donald Trump fell into a vat of Cheetos dust. It's almost impossible to get off.

"All right… we'll give some land to the [insert racial slur for African Americans that we no longer use in polite company] and the [insert racial slur for the Chinese that I'm not sure if we still use or not, because it doesn't come up that often, but I do know it's not the preferred nomenclature]. But we don't want…

I'll believe this is coming out when I finally see it on Blu Ray at Walmart. The film's been in development hell since 1997 and occasionally pops up every few years to say that someone like Guillermo Del Toro or Eli Roth are attached to direct. Then nothing happens.

Atleast he's finally under 217 pounds now.

And Chevy Chase's was Memoirs of an Invisible Man.

He also likes his bacon barely cooked, so it's all flaccid and shit. Dannis Ree was right about Donald Trump!

As well as silken hair, like that of a Chinese man, and the skin of a hot dog.

You can find some really good deals at a yard sale. Like old VHS tapes.

It meant Daniel Dae Kim didn't have to sell his home in Hawaii after Lost too!

As long as it features a cameo from Sylvester Stallone living in the remains of the mall's old Orange Julius.

It doesn't help too that he lost like 90 pounds yet failed to downsize his wardrobe. So he now he looks like a giant kid wearing a tarp.

It's alright. He's retiring after he makes that hockey comedy. Or Clerks III. But get this, it's going to be a Broadway play! Or a novel. He hasn't decided yet.

The current version of development hell is hovering around Jason Sudeikis. Which'll probably go nowhere too.

I had high hopes that he'd have played Fletch back in the day. But then again, Kevin Smith was attached, so trainwreck averted, I suppose.